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Other Articles By Philip Yaffe
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Fixing the Flaws in the 10 Principles of Clear Writing
by Philip Yaffe
I recently did an Internet search for
“clear writing” and frequently came up with the same list of “10
principles of clear writing”. Each one is a piece of very good advice;
however the list has two faults.
First, I am viscerally suspicious of all 10-item lists. They seem
contrived. It’s as if the writer decided that any self-respecting list
should have 10 items, then set about inventing them to meet the challenge.
More importantly, these 10 principles of clear writing are not really
principles at all, but rather tips and technique. What’s the difference?
Tips and techniques tell you what to do; principles tell you why you
are doing it.
Understanding why you are doing something, i.e. the benefit you
will gain, helps ensure that you will actually do it and do it
consistently. Too often when we are told only what to do, we follow the
instruction half-heartedly, inconsistently, or not at all.
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For example, my last year at the University of California, Los Angeles
(UCLA), I tutored writing to make a bit of much-needed cash. One day a
first year student came to me with a note from a professor, saying: “Young
lady, I advise you either to leave my class immediately or prepare to fail
it.” I concluded that she was misapplying a fundamental writing principle,
so I explained it to her and had her do a few simple exercises to be
certain she understood it. By the end of term, her almost certain “F” had
shot up to a gratifying “B”. |
This was not an isolated case. When students were having writing
difficulties, it was generally because they were: 1) unfamiliar with a
fundamental principle, 2) inconsistently applying it, 3) improperly
applying it, or 4) not applying it at all.
I am a marketing communication consultant, after having been a
newspaper editor, a writer with The Wall Street Journal, and European
marketing communication director for two major international companies.
Over my 40 year career, I have been continually appalled by how poorly top
business executives, academics, researchers, and other clearly intelligent
people express themselves, both in writing and speaking.
Some years ago I tried to analyze this depressing phenomenon. As a result,
I defined three key principles that underlie virtually every kind of
expository (non-fiction) writing and speaking. To give them strength and
substance, I cast them in the form of quasi-mathematical formula. As
formula, these principles not only tell you what to do, they also tell you
why you are doing it and how to go about it.
I would first like to briefly explain these three principles, then
see how they coincide with lists of tips and techniques that masquerade
as principles. Most people accept that a good text should
be “clear” and “concise”. There is a third principle that is seldom
mentioned. A good text should also be “dense”.
Clarity Principle
Being clear is not a matter of personal
appreciation. Do you find your text clear? You should; after all, you
wrote it. But how can you be certain that it will be clear to others?
According to the clarity principle, to be clear you must do three
things:
1. Emphasize what is of key importance.
2. De-emphasize what is of secondary importance.
3. Eliminate what is of no importance.
In short: Cl = EDE
If you follow the formula, before you start writing you must first
determine what is of key importance, i.e. what are the key ideas you
want your readers to take away from your text?
This is not always easy to do. It is far simpler to say that everything is
of key importance, so you put in everything you have. However, unless you
do the work of defining what you really want your readers to know, they
won't do it for you. They will simply get lost in your text and either
give up or come out the other end not knowing what they have read.
Next, as you write your text, you must be certain to de-emphasize
what is of secondary importance. Why? Because if you really want your
readers to recognize and retain the key ideas, then you don’t want them
getting lost in the details. Details (information of secondary importance)
explain and support the key ideas. They must never overwhelm them.
Finally, you must ruthless eliminate what is of
no importance. Why? Because any information that adds nothing
to explaining and supporting the key ideas will tend to obscure them,
which is exactly the opposite of what you want.
Conciseness Principle
According to the conciseness principle, your
text should be as:
1. Long as necessary
2. Short as possible
In symbols: Co = LS "As long as necessary"
means covering all the key ideas you identified under “clarity”,
and all the information of secondary importance needed to explain
and support them. Note that nothing is said here about the number
of words, because it is irrelevant. If it takes 500 words to be
"as long as necessary", then 500 words must be used. If
it takes 1500 words, then this is all right, too.
"As short as possible" means staying as close as you can to the
minimum. Not because people prefer short texts; in the abstract the terms
“long" and "short" have no meaning (so-called “weasel words”). The
important point is: All words beyond the minimum tend to damage clarity.
Subconsciously, readers will continually be trying to understand why those
words are there, and will be continually failing because they serve no
purpose.
Density Principle
Density is a less familiar concept than
clarity and conciseness, but is equally important. According to the
density principle, you text should contain:
1. Precise information
2. Logically linked
In other words: D = PL
Using precise information rather than wishy-washy weasel words in a text
aids clarity. For example, if you say it is a “hot” day, what do you mean?
One reader might interpret hot as 24° C while another might interpret is
as 36° C. However, if you say the temperature outside is 28° C, there is
no room for interpretation—or misinterpretation.
Using precise information also generates confidence, because it tells the
reader that you really know what you are talking about. This helps to hold
the reader’s attention and makes it easier to get your points across.
However, precise data (facts) by themselves are insufficient. To be
meaningful, data must be organized to create “information”. There are two
important tests to apply when converting data into information.
A. Relevance
Is a particular piece of data really needed? As we have seen, unnecessary
data damages clarity and ultimately confidence. Therefore, any data that
do not either aid understanding or promote confidence should be rigorously
eliminated.
B. Misconceptions
The logical link between data must be made explicit to prevent the reader
from coming to false conclusions. Example: A singular occurrence may be
misinterpreted as part of a broad pattern; a general policy may be
misinterpreted as applying only in specific circumstances, etc.
To ensure that a logical link is clear, place the two pieces of data as
close to each other as possible, preferably right next to each other. When
data are widely separated, their logical link is masked. If you don’t make
the logical connection, it is unrealistic to expect readers will do so for
themselves.
Keeping these true principles - clarity, conciseness, density -
firmly in mind allows us to re-evaluate the oft-quoted ten “principles” of
clear writing” (i.e. tips and techniques), thereby making them
significantly more meaningful, and significantly more useful.
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1. Keep
Sentences Short This
is usually interpreted to mean an average sentence length
of 15 - 18 words. Not because readers can’t handle longer
sentences. However, when length rises above this average,
sentences are likely to be poorly constructed, thereby damaging
clarity. But remember, 15 - 18 words is an average. Don’t
shun longer sentences. A well constructed long sentence
is often clearer than two or more shorter ones. Why? Because
the longer sentence betters shows the logical linkage among
the various elements, which would be lost by splitting it
apart.
2. Prefer the Simple
to the Complex If
the precise word is long, don’t hesitant to use it, because
not using it would damage clarity. On the other hand, if a
shorter word would do just as well, prefer it. Examples: “dog”
rather than “canine”, "change" rather than "modification",
"entrance” rather than “ingress”, etc.
3. Prefer the Familiar
Word This is just
a variation of point 2. If you have a choice between two words,
use the one that most people are likely to recognize and use
themselves. Examples: “insult” rather than “imprecate”, “daily”
rather than “quotidian”
4. Avoid Unnecessary
Words In other
words, be concise.
5. Use Active Verbs
In an individual sentence, whether you use an active or a
passive verb is of little consequence. However, over an entire
text it becomes very important. Active verbs tend to enhance
clarity; conversely, too many passive verbs tend to damage
it.
6. Write the Way you
Speak This
is a very useful technique, but don’t take it literally. When
we speak, we generally use simpler vocabulary and sentence
structures than when we write. Writing the way you speak is
a good way to produce a first draft. However, when we speak,
our sentence structures are often confused and our vocabulary
imprecise. These faults must be rigorously corrected in the
second, third or later drafts.
7. Use Terms your Reader can Picture
In other words, be dense. Use specifics; avoid weasel words.
When making a general statement, be certain to support it
with concrete data.
8. Tie in with your
Reader's Experience We
are again talking about density, i.e. using precise information.
Be certain that the terminology you chose is compatible with
your readers’ experience. If you need to use a word not likely
to be familiar to your readers, define it the first time it
appears. If it is really key, define it again later on in
the text. Also be wary of words that look familiar but have
a very different meaning in the context of your subject.
Example: “Insult” is medical jargon for an injury or trauma. However,
talking about an “insult” to the heart without first explaining this
unconventional meaning of the word is likely to leave your readers
scratching their heads.
9. Make Full Use of
Variety This suggestion
is almost superfluous. If you conscientiously apply the three
writing principles of clarity, conciseness, and density, you
will almost automatically introduce variety of sentence length
and structure into your text.
Avoid introducing too much variety of vocabulary. Constantly changing
terminology for the sake of variety damages clarity. If several words mean
essential the same thing, pick one or two of them and shun the others.
Introduce equivalent terms in such a way that the reader clearly
understands they mean the same thing.
Example 1. (Confusing) Manned space travel to Mars is once again being
considered. The Red Planet has fascinated mankind for centuries. The “God
of War” is the fourth planet from the sun - our own Earth is the third -
and it is our closest celestial neighbor except for the moon.
2. (Clear) Manned space travel to Mars is once again being considered.
Popularly known as the “Red Planet”, Mars has fascinated mankind for
centuries. Being the forth planet from the sun (Earth is the third), it is
our closest celestial neighbor except for the moon.
10. Write to Express,
not to Impress The
purpose of expository (non-fiction) writing is to inform or
instruct, not to show off your literary prowess. The fact
is, the better you write, the less people are likely to notice.
And this is how it should be. The reader’s full attention
should be on what you are saying, not how you are saying it.
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Contributing Writer
Philip Yaffe is a former reporter/feature writer with The
Wall Street Journal and a marketing communication consultant. He currently
teaches a course in good writing and good speaking in Brussels, Belgium.
His recently published book In the “I” of the Storm: the Simple Secrets of
Writing & Speaking (Almost) like a Professional is available from Story
Publishers in Ghent, Belgium (storypublishers.be) and Amazon (amazon.com).
For further information, contact:
Philip Yaffe, Brussels, Belgium
Tel: +32 (0)2 660 0405
Email: phil.yaffe@yahoo.com
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