All About Worries
Humanity is crippled with all types of
worries even as early as when the child is hardly 2 to 3 years old only.
As the child gets old its types and number of worries becomes many fold
and it persists until the day he or she breathes his last.
The Almighty has never spared any body from
this disease that is also contagious in nature in spite of his holding
positions, wealth, power, influence or any virtues for that matter. Even
during those few moments before getting hanged and seeing an end to his
life that unfortunate individual worries for the family he is leaving
behind, the nation and its people being fully aware that he has no control
at all over the events after his death.
When one worry is solved either way another
worry or worries takes its place as there is also no limit of numbers for
this disease. Actually the problems faced in life push you to this
abstract noun and in a way retard the confidence level even while you are
in the process of solving it. All of us are aware of that great BHAGWADH
GEETHA that always preaches you to do the best in the available situations
with out worrying about the result.
Actually that philosophy of life implies that
the result is not in our hand though our attempt should be to its optimum
level. But to put in to practice this age old theory and freeing yourself
from worries is not practicable to almost all of us. But there are also
silly worries that certain people suffer from for which they have to get
the help of a psychiatrist. Normally the silly doubts take the shape of
worries.
To list a few,
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Student - doubts whether he had
written the roll number correctly in answer sheet though his inner most
mind says he has done it. After leaving the hall he returns to the
examiner and pleads for checking. Some times he does it even twice.
Middle aged man leaving the house with
family for railway station – He returns a few times and pulls the lock
repeatedly and also not satisfied after reaching the station. This man
used to wait for the post man to open the post box to check whether he had
written the pin code, affixed the stamp and so on. But in those instances
he would have done that job perfectly up to 100% and it is more of the
mental condition than of real.
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House wife - preparing the feast for
the guests are troubled with the doubt whether salt is put or otherwise.
Actually worries should act as a catalyst to
accomplish your task. But that should be well before the commencement of
that task, to some extent while in the process of carrying that task-but
never after the completion of the task. In no case that would make the
result alter or better it. Rather it is counter productive in slowing down
the concentration level while performing the next task on hand.
The best solution is to be ready with the
option for either way of the result.
1. If your son has plucked in the IIT you
must have thought over and prepared mentally and ready with the
alternatives
2. After the function the bridegrooms party answers negative for your
daughter be prepared and don’t worry for what had already happened.
3. .If the suspected cancer or HIV +ve are confirmed by the doctor be
ready for further action rather than worrying for what has already
happened.
4. Having sent your son for service in the ARMY be prepared for the worst,
which you should have considered at the time of sending only.
There are long term and short term worries that can be listed as below.
Short Term Worries -
1. Having been delayed by my neighbor the
prospects of catching 8’o clock train.
2. Whether gas would last for 3 more days until the date of delivery by
the company.
3. How many of the lady’s finger that I purchased to day would be tender.
4. The prospects of getting my leave sanctioned.
Long Term Worries
-
1. When the KASHMIR PROBLEM will be solved?
2. The chances of OSAMA BIN LADEN captured alive.
3. When the cast system will go away from INDIA?
4. Whether my children would live in perfect harmony even after my death?
The first set of worries is momentary and
will last for a brief period of time. Also the out come of the results
would have been forgotten instantaneously. As for the next examples they are really of
concern of every day and hence deep rooted. But simply worrying has no
effect instead of putting your efforts in minimizing the impending misery.
For the first 2 cases you cannot help unless you are an influential
politician or renowned writer. The last 2 an attempt can be made by you by
your own behavior with society or family people.
Normally most of
the people are in the habit of anticipated trouble and worry for
that which may never happen like tsunami, earth quake, fire, flood
etc. Actually fear, anxiety and worry are triplets born to the same
parents of pessimism and weak mind. It
is a famous saying that worries a little bit every day and in a
life time you may lose a couple of years.
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Student - doubts whether he had
written the roll number correctly in answer sheet though his inner most
mind says he has done it. After leaving the hall he returns to the
examiner and pleads for checking. Some times he does it even twice.
Middle aged man leaving the house with
family for railway station – He returns a few times and pulls the lock
repeatedly and also not satisfied after reaching the station. This man
used to wait for the post man to open the post box to check whether he had
written the pin code, affixed the stamp and so on. But in those instances
he would have done that job perfectly up to 100% and it is more of the
mental condition than of real.
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IF YOU CAN SOLVE A PROBLEM, THEN WHAT IS THE
NEED OF WORRYING?
IF YOU CANNOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM, THEN WHAT IS
THE USE OF WORRYING?
But by nature there are also people who are
continuously trying to change the negative way of thinking in life by
gathering experience of others and also their own. There are 2 ways of
looking a glass with half filled water.
A pessimist who is always resigned to defeat
at the slightest obstacle would view it as half empty while the other chap
with positive sign with never-say-die attitude would declare it as half
full. OK- it is admitted that it is not always possible to posses with
that frame of mind for all the time and for all people. What we need is a
new mind that thinks differently-or at least some variation in thinking.
By my experience which is having not less than 7 decades behind the
following few suggestions are made which are however not exhaustive. I
request the readers to study the autobiography / biography of eminent
people who had mastered to eliminate this curse which GOD has given only
for humans and spared animals, birds, fish etc.
1. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THINGS AT NIGHT, OR IN
BED, WHILE RELAXING OR TAKING YOUR FOOD.
2. DO EXERCISE UNTIL YOU ARE EXHAUSTED THOROUGHLY AND NO ENERGY EVEN TO
WORRY.
3. GET INVOLVED IN THINGS WHICH TAKES YOUR MIND OUT OF WORRIES. Eg.
READING BOOKS, HOBBIES LIKE MUSIC, PAINTING, DANCING, COOKING AND SURFING
THE NET.
4. SOME TIMES WE WANT TO EXPRESS OURSELVES TO THE INDIVIDUALS, RELATIVES,
FRIENDS, LEADERS OR FOR THAT MATTER ANY BODY. TAKE A PAPER AND WRITE DOWN
ANY DAMN THING. PLEASE DESTROY THAT PAPER AND CERTAINLY THERE MAY BE SOME
RELEIF.
5. TRY TO EXTEND HELP TO THE NEEDY AS PER YOUR LIMITATIONS AND CAPACITY.
IT NEED NOT NECESSARILY BE FINANCIAL. IT COULD BE TEACHING, HELPING
ILLITERATES AT POST OFFICES, BANKS AND OTHER PUBLIC PLACES. BUT NEVER OPEN
YOUR MOUTH ABOUT THE SERVICE YOU HAD RENDERED AS YOU WOULD MISS THE CHARM
OF YOUR HELP.
FEARS AND WORRIES WILL GO BIGGER IF YOU DON’T DEAL WITH THEM. My only
worry is now all your worries will vanish and now no scope for me to write
on the topic of WORRY with out worrying for your worry!
Article by: J. PANCHAPAGESAN DSP-RETD,
CHENNAI
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