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Job Vs Marriage


It always happens that even the ordinary words by some one make an everlasting impact in our minds. It happened in my college, when one of my professors while teaching the process of selection, described selection of a candidate for a suitable job as getting married. He said, “Everything goes well if the right selection is made and it hits rock bottom when the choice is wrong.”

Little did I agree with him, for I always felt the analogy drawn was completely baseless each other. Days passed, I completed my Masters Degree and remembered the Professor for his unusual lectures.

But after few years I discovered that his words hold well with a twist in tale. The process of getting the right marriage partner in India was more structured and streamlined than getting the right candidate for the job especially when it is an arranged marriage. When my best friend was ready for marriage. Her parents began searching the matrimonial websites like searching for the job sites. Then came the next step of preparing resume or preparing bio data. If resume is selected next step from the side of employer is matching skill sets completely in tandem with matching the horoscopes of future partners.

I wondered why the horoscopes of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not matched same way boss and subordinate EQ levels are also not matched. Next step in my friend’s marriage process was the telephonic round I mean the guy wanted to speak to her on the phone. I wondered whether he wanted to recruit a telephone executive or maybe he wanted to check how the voice appears from distance. Don’t be surprised, this concept has also been borrowed from HR process and helps in initial screening. By now I started believing that marriage is also an elimination process like Selection of Candidate for the Job.


Coming up next was of course direct interview. But the difference is that in selection you have one on one round and then the panel of interviewers will hammer you, and in case of marriage the panel of grannies, aunts and other relatives come first and shoot the girl left, right and center with all sorts of questions. Don’t worry they may convert ordinary interview into often non-reliable technique called stress interview. They may ask the girl to walk and turn left or right so that they can test your personality. And then the future buddies are given a chance to have one on one session. It may last as long as the panel wants it to be.

Then came the difficult task in my friend’s marriage process; announcing the result. Who will spill the beans?

 This task was outsourced to a third party (common friend) who told my friend’s parents that their daughter has been selected. I was astonished and not able to decide whether HR borrowed the concept of outsourcing recruitment to consultants from the Indian Marriage process or was it the other way round. My friend was selected for ultimate job. Then was the D-day that includes all sorts of formalities (Joining). After that, very well defined induction and orientation period. My friend was introduced to all the relatives like the new member is introduced to all the teams. One can hardly forget that period.

My friend’s mother in law wore a farce look and said, “Dear you are not supposed to work till the time the color of your Mehandi (Henna) fades away.” Like our bosses tell us to relax and take it easy. I remember the luxuries we had during the training for my first job. Like in Marriage Romance fades away with the color of Henna same way the passion of getting the first job fades away with each passing day. But the eternal truth is Indian Marriage system is still one of the best institutions and one can swear by because its foundation is mutual understanding and the amalgam of two families. The world will be a best place to live in if we bring in the loyalty and cooperation in our workplace also. And what happened to my friend. Her marriage is rocking because the color of her Henna has not faded away. You know why, because she kept applying oil on the Henna to retain the color. Where do we find the oil with which we can retain the color of our passion and dreams of making big?

Contributing Story Teller  Anju Kotwani  is a freelance writer and likes to pen down her thoughts on day to day events.  

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