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Battle of the Sexes

The proverbial, age old battle of the sexes was brought to an abrupt halt when in the battle of wits my long list of “what I as a woman can do, that men can perhaps never carry off with aplomb” was cut short by one seemingly innocuous, offhand remark by a friend.

   

My list was fairly long, including almost everything we woman can claim to have sole rights on-

• We can tell the difference between purple and lilac
• We can gleefully sip on mocktails without attracting sniggers and stealthy remarks.
• We can blame all our problems on PMS and nobody dares questions the logic.
• We can wear pinks and oranges and virtually any colour under the sun with our heads held high.

• Hell! Not only can we wear pinks and oranges minus the sniggers but wear them in virtually any piece of clothing we wish to. We are spoilt for choice when it comes to our wardrobe-skirts, spaghettis, halters, cute tees, shorts, jeans, tubes, harems, sarees, dresses with bows, buttons, sequins, sheer, layered, bohemian, gothic, racy...you name it, we wear it.

• And the shoes...aaaaah the shoes!! Peep toes, stilettos, mary janes, wedges, strappy, pumps, gladiators, clogs, espadrilles, kitten heels- and in the most kickass vibrant colours.

• We can make even oversized tees and men’s shirts look nice (wink!)
• We can whiz past the long queues at the License, Passport, Billing, and offices.
• We are not expected to go down on our knees or come riding on shiny white horses (both feeling and looking positively bizarre) every time the ‘m’ word is mentioned.
• This one’s my absolute favourite- *We get free entry and/or Ladies’ Night benefits* at all nightclubs, pubs and lounges. *drum roll*.

 

There!! That should rest any claims that men may have about being the superior or privileged sex to rest. Little did I know that an innocuous remark by a friend (no points for guessing...a guy) would make me want to feed the list to the shredder.

It would haunt me forever, the one, the only unchartered territory, the dark land, at the mere mention of which I had no option but to grudgingly concede defeat-“We can read maps, and REVERSE AND PARK OUR CARS!”

All the chips, scratches and dents that are sprinkled generously over my car, the snide remarks of many a parking attendants, the parking miles before my destination to avoid crazy jammed parking lots and the spates and threats to life(ok I made the last one up.. threats to sue for compensation) flashed before my eyes.

Grinning shamelessly he knew it was over. Sigh...what would I not give to be able to reverse and park my car perfectly. My final parting words, a piece of very good and useful advice if you will... Damn all those parking videogames! A gazillion hours spent zealously perfecting mu parking online are futile in the real world of the Parking Lot.

Contributing Writer  Rajvi Gupta, 21, currently pursuing MA in English and Communication studies, GGISPU Bachelors in English- Lady Shri Ram College raajvi_gupta@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article above are purely those of the Contributing Writer and does not present the thoughts or views of contentwriter.in


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